Ship on the rocks

Well my life has crashed. It's so simple to say this. profound, but heartless. An accident which could not be prevented. A bolder unseen. A tree in the middle of the road seen by all but me. I tried, gave it my all, kicked in the teeth, gutted, thrown away trash in one of those handy cinch sacks. Fucking steel promised bags, black and ghastly. I am drifting in the past somewhere on the fucking ocean, somewhere fateful and past my port. Captain I am, leader I was, steering with dead men in a storm. I don't care if we all die. Fuck I hope we all do. Drag their asses into the rocks Pour the rum pour into the our throats till it chokes the best of us all. I keep them following me into the storm, past the safe long route, past the chance they, or I for a matter of fact will ever see our loved ones. Damn it all, lead on, into the thunder of the night, darkness of death, void of light and the thought of survival. Take it to the bottom with me. All who dared to go this far and suck them into the main event. Here I stare, wanting and striving to reach the death and safety of the rocks. Here we are waves are great beasts hovering over my head taking to long to crash. The deck heaves, the wood showing it's fragility which seemed so strong under my feet. now.  I waited, not looking for the safety out of the tragedy, for what, a hand, a bit of love, a simple look, wanted need for my soul, but it was in vain. Waiting took my only chance away, worth it or not, it is gone. Damn you all. None cared. Sadly none watch to my knowledge.  She took my life soul and most of all my heart and foolishly served it for dinner to haggards and swines. I see the wash on my deck and the mast is gone and the sound of buckling members is a soothing sound. I was sorry for the voyeur's and crew of my once mighty life, but now it matters none,