Am I looking for a partner?

Well I have had better day that's for sure. But not to fret, I will survive. I know I am looking for someone. I am not sure what the makeup of this person is. Is it a partner as I had when I had a Mid-Century Modern store in the 80's? I do so much better teaming up with someone. I feed off that person using their strengths and make sure I overextend myself to fit into their scheme also so there is no overlap. I am a seller during the day in my regular work selling millions of dollars of specialized manufactured items a year. I have that down with no problem. It's second nature and I do it with pleasure.

But in the world of Vintage in which I live I am a buyer, purveyor and extractor of this period to enrich my life with not letting it govern me. I purchase, receive, experience and allow it to enrich my life living in the now surrounded by the past. I am not a seller. Plain fact! I am not a hoarder! I do not have this pile of possibly unwanted or junk stuff. I have carefully selected the items I want, not need. This was and is my personal entertainment, not hobby. I purposely purchased these items knowing the value of the items way exceeded the purchase price to eventually sell them. I could live in minimalism with no possessions and it would not effect me one bit. The most important things in life are the ones I love. Some people around me do not understand this, but then, they really don't know me. There is a time and place for everything and it is another one of those times in my life to move forward.

But will this person be a partner, or am I looking for a soul mate? Is it love that I require? I am not sure. Many things i am positive of, but I am ready to live alone in my life and if it happens with a woman who appreciates me as I will her, then it will happen. Am I looking for this? Am I lying to myself saying that I can do without? For sure this is a question that can be such a variable,  for it will be, when and if it happens,  dependent on the complete whole woman that chooses me. So many possibilities? What the hell it has countless difficulties and a tremendous upside.What is a man to do?

I do apologize to all, or none, for my rambling and childish grammar (I think) for this is just flowing out and I post away without a second glance. Yes apologize, I am far from faultless in this world

Self reflection in the city and the Vintage Clothes which come from Detroit

I spent the day in the city and the evening with two old friends until late just talking and having wine and coffee. The day was as always as it is in Detroit with me searching for clothing furniture and decorative art. The people in Detroit are so friendly and open to me and I am the old white one of the bunch. Everyone overly extends them selves to make eye contact, say a smiling greeting and spark a conversation. There is nothing like being in a closed intimate setting having discussions on the city, life in general and their feelings listening to Curtis Mayfield's "Freddie's Dead" from Superfly. People move while they talk to the music and I cannot help myself also from grooving to the sounds and discussing what they were doing when it came out. Handshakes, hugs, offering some of their food, discussing their "1970's walk and clothes they were their favorite and what the hell happening to this place now is common in most my encounters. From there I discuss my loves, likes and experiences in Detroit (My first home was in Detroit). They open their homes and I normally end up purchasing some small vintage item as in furniture, art or clothing. Seventies clothing which sometimes they just pass on to me is prevalent with most visits and the wonderful the story's which goes with the clothing. I have hundreds and hundreds of vintage men's suits, shirt, pants,sweaters, shoes and ties. Ties. Damn I have a lot of ties. Thousands of the finest ties from hand painted, silk designs, thin 1960's and 1970's to the wild wide ties of the the disco era I have boxed and boxed over the years. All this stuff and what am I to do with them now?

The Ultimate Hippie Leather (a gift to me)

When they made shirts that were in motion

Just A few, and I mean a few of my ties

Detroit in Ruin the Vanity Ballroom

I am watching history go down piece by piece with the seasons and neglect. For years I have been going to what is left of the Vanity Ballroom in Detroit. I saw many shows there and the last was in the 1980's with George Clinton, Bootsy Collins and the Parliament-Funkadelics-Brides of Funkenstine. An incredible Aztec Revival Structure and sister venue to the Historic Grande Ballroom opening 1929 it's just falling apart. Big Bands like Duke Ellington, Benny Goodman, Louis Prima, Jimmy and Tommy Dorsey and Cab Callow performed there as well as in the 1970's Bands like the Stooges, MC-5 and The Velvet Underground. It's in total ruin now and the water pouring through the roof has opened up the dance floor showing there were springs in the floor for the Ballroom Dancing. There is that saying "the last person to leave Detroit please turn out the lights"

The Art of Falling Apart

How is it when an oppressive leadership is falling apart it does not submit to the will of its people. It stays, it dies with it's all the foolish followers who blindly follow it to its grave only to be a smear and a lesson to future generations of what not to do. It is happening now in Syria; it happened in Germany in the 1940's and happened in here in with the British in America with our revolution. These so called leaders cannot "see the forest through the trees" and escalate the suffering of the oppressed with escalating fear, brutality and destruction all the way until the end. Many leaders die with their cause, some never die, they just go into exile to a country with leaders who blindly absolve them of their crimes and extends them an extravagant life style. They want to leave a wake of hell upon their country and I mean THEIR COUNTRY as they see it. It's not the people’s country in these leaders’ minds, but a possession, a false god's, an ego, or whatever possesses them to feel they are chosen to lead the future of all with a direction only they know.

I live in a city which this art has been carried out for years.  Detroit is in ruins. There are such wonderful, caring and intelligent citizens who are stuck in a city which creates a haven for the few who wish to feed on the masses. The government is full of inadequate ignorant elected officials. Most everyone has given up with the proper vision as the political money machine is behind the candidates. They elect those who are not capable of making a single decision which benefits the people of the city, has long term impact and is fiscally responsible. How can this city survive with 14 Billion in unfunded dept and not elect officials who can at least stop the bleeding, begin the process for a new beginning and slowly have an effect on the safety of the people left.

I spend an inordinate time in the city. It draws me, sucks me in, just captivates and consoles me. I don’t know why, but is it that I am mastering the art of falling apart in my own life? I am optimist, no doubt, but it’s in a room of darkness around me. I am getting very comfortable most the time with not talking or seeing anyone outside my work. Very strange but true.

Detroit 2013

Something happened

I was a great day with me cleaning out an old bed room at the lake house (not where I am staying) and redesigning for my daughter as an extra room. It went well and with a couple of sixties couches I had purchased them fro  a inner city church store a couple of years ago. They originally came from from Englander Triangle, a great modern interior design store. Then all hell broke loose with the return from a trip out of town from my soon to be ex wife. I guess something internally snapped in me with her statements to me.I just came over wrong from her and in front of the children. I did not loose my cool as I am a greatly respectful person and do have control. But something happened. Inside everything scrabbled. I just was appalled with her statements and thankless attitude toward me for everything I had had just recently done to help her with things. These were things I did not have to do, but the giver I am I offered and did without need or wanting for her to show appreciation. I feel like I am falling, vertigo, and I am without reason. I wanted to argue me point, with great vigor, but it would help nothing. Instead I left drove around for more than a while, got a bottle of Sake and started to loose my composure. I can not wait to be free completely again. It's really not free I need as I love. Love for the unknown and known, the sharing of all and comfort of a warm lover.
I almost drove into a wall tonight when I was driving and I can't tell you why. I hope this passes. I will spend the day in the inner city, yes the ghetto in Detroit as I provides me with the comfort of the post modern destruction. It how I feel right now, still standing but horribly burned on the inside

Here is a little taste of my trip last week giving you a view of what is left and not left here in Detroit.

I hope this feeling goes away

 I was digging through stuff and wanted to share this with you, or if there is not you, for my pleasure. This large vase is by Edwin and Mary Scheier from the 1950's some time. A great piece with beautiful faces of wonderment around the perimeter. Approximately 15" high it is one of my favorite pieces I own. As teachers at the League of New Hampshire Arts and Crafts they have pieces in many museums including the MOMA in New York

Easter is coming

It's Good Friday. Really, it's a great Friday! The clouds in my mind are starting to part and the real sun outside helps. I had a crazy request today from a Rasta worker in my shop who wants me to be in a "Jamaican Gangsta"  movie they are making. I say they are because they are identical twins rapping Jamaican like crazy and they are shooting a movie, with what money I do not know and want me in it. Normally I am not for public display. As gregarious as I am, I am also very shy. There are very few women I have actually asked out. Normally throughout my life I have been chased down and succumb to a pretty woman and that's that. But a Gangsta Rap movie! Well I said yes for what reason I do not know except it is very quiet around me and this for sure not going to be quiet! It's nuts I know, but what ever direction the world holds for me now, I am ready to explore it to the fullest. (well let's stay away from breaking the law)