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Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Giving and not receiving and getting use to it. What I really wanted for Chritmas

I gladly gave what I could this Christmas. I actually gave more than I had and will end up paying some bills late. Not too far of a stretch but ZERO on a credit card. I have no more credit cards and hate what they do to people. I want to say most know what they are doing with credit cards, but it seems these days either they just don't understand how it will fuck up their life if they don't pay attention to it or they never should of qualified for one in the first place. 
So back to the point as I got off track there. I gave and did not receive. Oh I get thank you and that great and stuff like that, but I just don't need anything which could be wrapped up. I also do not expect anything anymore. Given up, left open my mind this the space it took up, free and clear.  
What did I want? One, just one or more of these things:

Compassion
Understanding of how I feel and my needs
Discussion   just talking
Laughing
A touch of a woman's hand on my face
The feeling I am need for more than my paycheck and cleaning ability
Consideration of my view

Notice I did not say love

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